


Home (Finn Appreciation Week - Day 4)

by orphan_account



Series: Finn Appreciation Week 2018 [3]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-12
Updated: 2018-04-12
Packaged: 2019-04-19 06:14:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14231085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Finn wishes for a brighter future, when he won't have to worry about everything going wrong all the time.





	Home (Finn Appreciation Week - Day 4)

Finn stared at the white-blue light waves of hyperspace through the cockpit viewports. The clock on the dashboard synced to Taris-VI's system timezone indicated two hours remained before the rendez-vous with Nachelle's crew. Judging by their current coordinates, they would be on time, which was the only good news for today.  
Finn hated needing the help of pirates for this mission. He feared Nachelle and her crew were going to betray them as soon and they wouldn't need their help anymore in seizing the First Order fuel tanker. Even if they remained loyal - how good could a band of thieves and criminals be against First Order troops? Finn felt a surge of anxiety, a stone's weight crushing his heart. His brain provided him with images of the worst outcomes, most of them converging at the death of all the Millennium Falcon's inhabitants.

Finn placed his hands over his eyes, breathing in and out slowly. He turned his attention to his environment. Behind the closed cockpit door, he heard footsteps, the sound of storage compartments opening and closing, goblets placed on the lounge area's table. He heard the sound of the kettle being turned on. Still sitting in the pilot's seat, he reached out with the Force. His senses sharpened and the sounds grew louder in his head.

He heard more footsteps, louder than the ones before. A groan followed. "Good morning to you too," Poe answered in a low, deep voice. Finn's understanding of Shyriiwook was now good enough to get that Chewbacca was heading to the cockpit to relieve Finn of his watch turn.

Finn opened his eyes and pivoted his seat when he heard the sliding door open. "Good morning," he said to Chewbacca with a forced smile, pushing his current worries back into his mind. But he had never been very good at shielding his emotions. Chewbacca put a large, reassuring hand on his shoulder. "Go eat, I'll take over," the Wookie groaned, before sitting in the seat next to Finn. Finn nodded and stood up. He already knew Chewbacca would say no if Finn insisted he could take his breakfast in the lounge room before taking his watch turn. The Wookie wasn't very fond of eating with the rest of the Falcon's current crew. Finn knew that Chewbacca liked them, but he imagined that sitting with them at the table reminded him too much of the time where he and Han basically lived in that ship. The memories were still too vivid, the wound still open.

"I'll bring you something," Finn said as he exited the cockpit.

In the lounge area, Poe was putting a spoonful of substitute caf on the four goblets lined up on the table. "Good morning, Finn!" Poe said cheerfully after putting the spoon aside. Poe's smile was radiant. It always made Finn feel better, made his heart beat a little faster in his chest.

"How you're doing?" Poe asked as he poured the kettle's content in the goblets.

Finn's first instinct was to say that he was fine, really, to ignore his bubbling anxiety regarding their mission. That was what he was told to do in the First Order, to put on a facade, and old habits die hard. But he wasn't in the First Order anymore, and Poe wasn't going to make him feel bad for having negative feelings.  
"I'm nervous about the plan, Poe. So many parts of it are beyond our control. Even if it's the best plan we got." A shiver ran down his body. Finn wrapped his arms around himself. Every mission was incredibly risky these days. The Resistance's survival hinged as much on dumb luck as it hinged on everyone giving their best. And some days, it was getting on his nerves.

Finn looked at Poe. His friend's warm smile was gone. He looked genuinely sorry that Finn felt this way, and guilty as well, perhaps of not finding the words to reassure him. Finn wasn't angry at him. It was on him, on his failure to deal with his feelings, Finn thought. There was nothing to do but carry on, make deals with dubious individuals and seize what they could from the First Order until the Resistance got back on its feet, little by little. There was nothing to do but believe they would all get through it.

Finn shook his head, and forced himself to smile once again. "But it's going to work out, right?"

Poe stepped forward and placed his hands over Finn's shoulders. They looked into each other's eyes, Finn drawing a little bit of strength from his friend's gaze. "It's going to work out," Poe said, and Finn decided that he would believe into his words, as he did every day. "Okay, it's going to work out," Finn repeated like these were magic words. When Poe smiled at him, Finn smiled back.

They parted and Finn busied himself with setting up a tray for Chewbacca - a hot goblet of substitute caf and three proteinated cookies, which had been everyone's standard morning ration whenever they were on a long mission. Finn carefully placed the tray on the dashboard. Chewbacca growled a thank you, before turning his attention back to the ship's various sensors.

Finn sat at the lounge table, Poe handing him a steaming goblet. Finn placed his hands around it, letting the heat radiate through his skin. He watched Poe take a sip and grimace. He hated this stuff, but still powered through his disgust as he needed it to wake up quickly, Poe had explained it to Finn. He swore that when Finn would get his hand on real caf, he could never go back to the fake stuff. Finn liked the substitute, it tasted more weird than good, and it was bitter, but at least it wasn't bland like the First Order foodstuff.

And he got to drink it in good company, which was the best thing about it, Finn thought. As they slowly sipped on their drinks, they talked about anything but the mission, as usual. Finn recalled weird habits and anecdotes from First Order top ranking officials, which never failed to make Poe laugh. Poe told him about the interesting places he had visited or heard about that were around their sector, about the adventures he had lived there where everything turned out okay and everyone went back to base safe and sound.

Poe was interrupted mid-rendition of a dogfight, hands raised above his goblet, still holding onto a half-eaten cookie, by a drawn-out yawn coming from the bunks, followed by the sounds of covers being tossed aside. They paused as they heard light footsteps on the metallic floor, until Rey emerged in the lounge area. Her eyes were still half closed, her sleepclothes rumpled on her thin frame, her messy hair looking like a Porg nest on top of her head.

Finn and Poe couldn't help but smile at the sight. She groaned, before sitting - or more accurately, letting herself fall - next to Finn. Finn handed her the last goblet. She downed half of it in one go, oblivious to the taste.

"Hi," she finally croaked, eyes opening fully. She started to untangle her hair with her fingers.

"Hi," Finn and Poe answered together, amused. Poe resumed the story he was telling Finn, now with two pairs of eyes on him. Finn leaned back on his seat, letting himself enjoy the beginning of the day, as he munched on his cookie. His fear had receded to a manageable level as he basked into the light, playful atmosphere that filled the room. It's going to be work out, Finn thought; and later today they would succeed and another day like this would start again, on the Falcon and somewhere else. And one day, Finn hoped, after a long string of days when everything would work out, they would all take breakfast together, this time with real caf and sweet cakes and fresh fruits and everything they could wish for, in a Galaxy at peace. And Finn would never worry again about his home, the people he loved, being taken away from him.


End file.
